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Post by Joelle on Nov 30, 2019 11:21:53 GMT -8
"Sounds like they do. Our family had seven, and by the time my sister Dawn died, with her there'd have been ten. Of course, some of us had moved out by then, but you imagine- just when we were teens, seven kids and five grandkids!"
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 30, 2019 12:42:48 GMT -8
"Oh, I can imagine," Lucy laughs. "My four children, all of them late teens, early twenties, already have given me... Seven grandchildren. Not counting the quads Stephen and June are in the process of adding. They don't always live with us-- Elisa and Raff just got married earlier this year and moved out on their own and of course Stephen and June are on their own as well-- but they're around the house so often, it feels like they do live with us. And Aland and I watch the kids for them whenever they need us to. We are very hands on grandparents."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 2, 2019 21:08:03 GMT -8
Kai laughs. "Yeah, it's not really funny, but several of my siblings moved back home for awhile after relationship problems- even me. That being said, thank God our kids our now older! Christian and his cousin Stefania are 20 now. Aurora is eighteen, though she's still in school due to reading problems as a child. Oceana just turned seventeen, and Lindsay is fourteen. Then we have all of the other kids who are younger, but those are the five we originally started with. I can't even begin to count all of the younger ones- and there are more on the way! The newest at this point is Celine's daughter, Bryony. She was born on 9/11. "
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 3, 2019 0:31:06 GMT -8
"Your family is a lot more established than mine," Lucy chuckles. "Give my kiddos another year or two, and we may catch up," she adds jokingly. "The rate Stephen and June adopt, they'll outnumber you themselves in a couple years."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 3, 2019 8:41:47 GMT -8
"No doubt! Plus there are a lot of multiples in my family as well. Carmen's triplets, Sam and Joaquin's triplets- on the way- and Carmen's six- her last few embryos, on the way as well. Then there are the people who are related to the kids my family has adopted who've moved here." He chuckles. "So far."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 3, 2019 8:56:42 GMT -8
"Families are wild and wonderful things, aren't they?" Lucy laughs. "I'm excited to see mine grow. I love how involved my kids have been with the group home too. I've gotten one son-in-law out of it, a couple grandchildren, and potentially a daughter-in-law given enough time."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 3, 2019 9:10:49 GMT -8
"Really? Now that's interesting. How did that all come about?"
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 3, 2019 9:57:44 GMT -8
"My kids will help out with little tasks at the group home. The kids there get to know them and some of them have just... clicked. That's how it was with Elisa and Rafe. She already had her oldest son and Rafe and that little boy connected as if Rafe really were his father. He's been really good to them. Elisa and Rafe are the two who are married."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 6, 2019 18:31:48 GMT -8
"That's neat. Hmmm, well if any of my nieces or youngest sisters want a date I just may tell them to come here," he teases.
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 6, 2019 20:39:14 GMT -8
"Well, don't go counting on that," Lucy laughs. "Unless they know how to interact with people who've experienced as much hurt and damage as a lot of these kids have, they won't make it very far."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 9, 2019 14:00:18 GMT -8
"Aislara could. She's been through it... in two different countries, no less," Kai says quietly. "Though she may be a little old to find a date here, at 23."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 9, 2019 14:29:23 GMT -8
"Yeah... Twenty-three would be a tad too old for most of these kids," Lucy laughs. "Though I suppose if she wanted to come talk to them about her experiences, they'd be grateful."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 10, 2019 16:10:25 GMT -8
Kai nods. "I'll ask. It might be interesting to them to know if there are differences in the systems between the States and Mexico. And who knows- she may be a foster-to-adopt parent herself in a few years." (OOC: where I live, you have to be at least 25 to be a foster parent.)
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 10, 2019 16:23:44 GMT -8
"A lot of kids who survive the system end up coming back to help out the next generation," Lucy says, "so it wouldn't surprise me really. They're the ones who know the system best and thus have greater hopes of dismantling the current issues to create a better oiled machine for the kids."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 10, 2019 17:32:32 GMT -8
"Hmm, really? I didn't know that. Seems like I know a couple from my sister's church who never had any personal experience with the system, but adopted all but their oldest and two youngest. As well as a few couples who just can't conceive on their own at all."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 10, 2019 18:38:12 GMT -8
"Yeah, that's a pretty common thing too," Lucy comments with a grin. "Even still, we're always needing more foster parents and adoptive parents."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 11, 2019 2:06:24 GMT -8
He nods. "I think Aislara would like to do both. She hasn't found anyone yet, but if she doesn't, she'd like her own family regardless. I think that's really brave of her. What I mean is, it can be tough without a support system. I know that firsthand."
(OOC: One of my single friends just finalized the adoption of the brother and sister she fostered! It's awesome.)
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 11, 2019 7:21:24 GMT -8
"I'm aware. I've watched some of these kids become single parents and have to learn to raise their child alone. Which makes it so much harder for anyone to want to foster them. A lot of those babies end up in the system too."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 11, 2019 12:59:33 GMT -8
He nods. "I mean, I think I get why, sort of, but my parents weren't put off by being young grandparents at all. But then, they're rare birds." He chuckles. " They're in their sixties now, so I doubt they'll be choosing any more kids. But for all I know, I could see them doing that adult adoption thing- helping a system kid through college. Which is just as important in its own way. It seems like you need to go to college to get a job, anymore. And then, if they do want our last name too, they can have it. Obviously, ten kids adopted willingly means we're quite happy with letting as many take it as want it."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 11, 2019 17:13:09 GMT -8
"Which is great. We need more people like that. We also need a lot more education. About the adult adoption, of course, but about everything else regarding the system too," Lucy replies. "So many people don't understand what actually goes on."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 12, 2019 14:45:15 GMT -8
"No. They really don't. If they did, maybe Amy would have never run away in the first place because she wouldn't have been with those people. She was already 4 months pregnant- I think- when she was found. Then the first people she stayed with made it clear that she wasn't welcome except as a baby-sitter for their own kids. Which seems a little extreme to me- to use a foster kid for labor. I've heard of it happening, though."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 12, 2019 16:13:32 GMT -8
"People's motivation to foster has such a wide range," Lucy sighs. "Some just want the money that the government gives them. Some want a babysitter. Some are just trying out being parents before they have kids of their own. It's horrible."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 15, 2019 16:30:16 GMT -8
"I get the trying out being parents thing, actually. But if you're going to do it, you should at least make sure that you're in it for awhile. So many kids need good foster homes as well as to be adopted."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 15, 2019 20:22:36 GMT -8
"You'd think people trying out parenting would have a better idea of that, but not everyone does," Lucy sighs.
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Post by Joelle on Dec 16, 2019 19:25:03 GMT -8
"I think a lot of people don't know what they could be getting into- or when they realize how hard it is working with kids with a lot of trauma, they're blindsided and get scared. Which is really sad." He plays absently with his empty teacup.
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 16, 2019 22:27:31 GMT -8
"I don't think enough people realpy understand what the foster system is. Or what it does. They don't understand that most of these kids come from abusive homes or families of addicts. Or that the main goal of the foster system is to get the kids back with their biological parents where possible. There is just so little education on this whole thing."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 17, 2019 14:45:43 GMT -8
"That's very true. What do you think can be done about that? I'm sure by now there have to at least be decent websites. The problem is you have to be looking for the resources, and actually care to do so."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 18, 2019 12:24:52 GMT -8
"Things like your hotel will help. It'll garner some attention which will in turn send people searching. I think we are in a place where more people are curious. There's a movie that came out pretty recently called Instant Family that deals with this kind of thing. If we can get more of that kind of media too, we'll be in a much better place, I think."
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Post by Joelle on Dec 19, 2019 12:51:46 GMT -8
"That's good as well, because something definitely needs to help. I never thought about the foster care being used to get people back with their bio families, but you're right. Maybe I know too many people who couldn't be. Which isn't a bad thing, but it is rather one-sided."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Dec 19, 2019 12:57:27 GMT -8
"Unfortunately, a lot of kids flip flop back and forth between their parents' care and the foster system until either their parents or the court decide they've had enough. So most of the kids you've known from the system must've been from families who'd already given up their rights to their kids. Or had the court mandate it."
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