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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 10:15:11 GMT -8
Jeremy nods. "There's a lot that I've tried hard not to think about for years," he says softly. "You ever do that?"
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 10:27:57 GMT -8
"Yeah. That's why only my family and Eliza know besides you. I mean, who even knows, there may be stuff I don't remember because it was so bad my brain exploded at the time with the stress." She sighs. "That scares me. Like really, hugely scares me." She gulps.
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 10:41:52 GMT -8
"Yeah... Not to scare you or anything, but that's basically what happened with Curtis. He doesn't remember, like, anything about what happened during his childhood. Why he went into the system. It's a real thing."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 11:46:26 GMT -8
"That's frightening. Not to remember your life. Not that it's great remembering what I do, but...I couldn't imagine that."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 11:58:55 GMT -8
"Yeah. He's been going to therapy pretty regularly since high school. He said that things are starting to fall into place."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 12:27:15 GMT -8
"Erm...I don't know if that's good or bad, but there is a certain amount of security in knowing what you've survived," she admits. "It means you...exist. Like, not just on a piece of paper that says where you were born, or a voter registration list or a housing app."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 12:36:43 GMT -8
"It's been tough. My dad feels helpless because he's all the way in California for most of the year."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 12:43:10 GMT -8
"Gosh. I don't think I knew that. I hope he has people he can talk to there," she says.
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 12:53:38 GMT -8
"He's got a therapist there and a couple friends, so he isn't entirely alone. It's gotta be isolating as hell though."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 13:23:12 GMT -8
"I'm not sure I'd want just anyone knowing that, either," Graciela admits. "Like I said, it's kinda like not existing. I hope everything turns out okay." She sighs. "Anyway, me and you...what's next? Are you willing to try the counseling- with my sister and if I'm with you? And oh God I feel like an idiot for earlier. I'm sorry. Let's try not to do that again, deal?"
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 14:55:36 GMT -8
"Hey, it was just as much my fault. Honestly, you're probably right about it not being terribly smart for me to quit before I have something to replace it," Jeremy admits with a sigh.
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 17:02:15 GMT -8
Despite herself, Graciela laughs ironically. "I'm sure it won't be the last mistake one of us makes. But you were just as right about trying to find a job that is less...energy-sucking. I don't want us to not go on dates because you have to work."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 18:01:22 GMT -8
"Me either," he says softly, taking one of her hands gingerly in his own. "I don't like how it made me feel and it obviously made you feel a lot too."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 11, 2019 20:22:15 GMT -8
"It did. I missed you, but I knew you were working, which made me happy, because you said you wanted to be able to contribute to dates and stuff, but I also missed you." She squeezes his hand. "I don't want you unhappy either, though...so I guess this is a lesson. Just because you're working doesn't mean you're all the way happy, and just because you're not working doesn't mean you haven't made any progress toward...recovering and moving on with your life as best you can. I just had stuff mixed up." She sighs. "Not the first time. Why does adulthood have to be so weird and complicated? Like our lives weren't confusing enough."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 11, 2019 21:20:27 GMT -8
"I wish I knew," Jeremy sighs, shaking his head. "It would be so much easier if we didn't have to deal with any of this. And honestly, it's been kinda weird for me to experience any of this. I always thought of myself as, like, the cool guy who knew exactly what he wanted, but that break up just- it shook my world. I failed all my classes. That was kinda the real reason I chose not to continue down my original path. And when I stopped taking classes, I was bombarded with questions. Curtis didn't make things easy for me. Which is funny because he's dealt with a lot of depression and stuff in his life so you'd think that he'd understand why I wouldn't want to continue taking classes. Maybe it's time to start back up."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 12, 2019 10:06:41 GMT -8
"Yeah, but then you just decided you weren't sure- last time we talked- what you would like to major in, so how does that help? That's another reason why I was concerned you weren't making any progress. Celine would say you have to grieve your losses when you can, if that makes any sense- because life doesn't give you a lot of time to grieve. Bills and kids- sometimes- and student loans and laundry don't disappear because you're hurting."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 12, 2019 10:48:20 GMT -8
"I could take classes that would be useful anywhere," Jeremy says, sounding unsure even to himself. "Like... I dunno, a language or something. Or something that would just be fun. Get me out of the house."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 12, 2019 12:01:31 GMT -8
"A language... You know I could help you with Spanish..." Graciela winks, liking the sound of this already. "For example, when soneone says 'besame' it means... to do this." Graciela kisses him on the lips, feeling her tension beginning to melt away.
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 12, 2019 12:32:55 GMT -8
Jeremy grins, kissing her back gently. "I do like the sound of that," he whispers. "How do you say sorry in Spanish?"
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Post by Joelle on Nov 12, 2019 12:48:05 GMT -8
"Lo siento." She looks into his eyes. "Me too... Lo siento tambien." She smiles. "You know...others I know who know a foreign language say making up in that language is so much more romantic. Do you think it's true?"
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 12, 2019 13:07:46 GMT -8
"Maybe," he says softly. "I do like the sound of Lo siento better than I'm sorry though, so it wouldn't surprise me if there's some truth to that."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 14, 2019 9:33:30 GMT -8
Graciela chuckles. "Me either. It's a bit late to be signing up for just now but I think if you wait till next month there's a winter class. I'll help you while I'm here. And we can video chat when I'm back at school in January."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 14, 2019 10:05:46 GMT -8
"There might even be some late start classes that I could sign up for now," Jeremy says. "Not necessarily in, like, a language or something, but it might be worth me looking into."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 14, 2019 10:18:38 GMT -8
"That would be great. Just do something, you know? It can't be healthy to always be in the house."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 14, 2019 10:20:55 GMT -8
"God, no," Jeremy replies. "Trust me, I know that from experience. Both personal and secondhand. It takes a toll on you especially if you're already in a vulnerable state. But it's hard because when you're in that vulnerable state you don't always have the motivation to actually get out."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 14, 2019 10:27:29 GMT -8
"Yep. That was Celine the first few months after Dawn died. Thank God she had Theo. I didn't know Dawn well, but I'll never forget the funeral. She and Claire both were...catatonic, poor things, and she got really dehydrated. So...I hope you take care of yourself. Please."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 14, 2019 10:37:48 GMT -8
"I'm trying. I'm doing a lot better now than I was, thankfully. It helped to have a dad who's a nurse and knows how to handle situations like that," Jeremy replies. "That man has saved the lives of every one of his kids."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 14, 2019 11:54:28 GMT -8
"I bet." she says, remembering when she met him. "I bet all your lives were awful before...or did you mean medically, as well? Just out of curiosity."
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Post by starletinwaiting on Nov 14, 2019 11:56:21 GMT -8
"Little bit of both," he responds With a smile. "He's definitely been the best thing to happen to... most of us honestly."
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Post by Joelle on Nov 14, 2019 15:08:53 GMT -8
She sighs. "Yeah. Mine were the best thing to happen to me too. Though it was a bit rough, religiously speaking- they used to be atheist- but I'm not really sure any of that stuff matters. Love gets past it, you know?"
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2 new BG babies! (for real)
